Apartment Living

Hi! I’ve moved into an apartment for my sophomore year… and I have 3 random roommates… and I really really hate it. Well, not all of it. The apartment itself is really quite nice! And I love my room and the way I’ve set it up, etc. But… I really hate my roommates. It’s not entirely their fault, I don’t think I’m suited for roommate living to be honest. But I hate them! It’s mostly my anxiety talking, but I hate that I’m forced to try and carry on small talk (the true horror of human existence) in my own home! Either that or try to avoid them, which is hard to do 24/7, because one of my roommates likes to take over the kitchen island and do homework… which leads me to the other reason I hate having roommates. I’m not sure when or how this fear developed, but I truly cannot go to the kitchen and get a snack/meal while I know that this girl is out there doing her homework. I dont want to talk to her, clearly, but I also have this Intense fear that she is going to judge whatever i get to eat, or make a comment, or just… anything. As I type it out I can see how clearly irrational this is, but it doesn’t change how I feel It reduced me to tears last week bc she and her friend were doing homework in the kitchen, and I forced myself to wait 2 extra hours to eat dinner until they left. (I’m probably crazy.). But I won’t even go grab, say, some Goldfish or even a cup of water while she’ sin there, or while my other roommates are making dinner, or anything. But it’s not like I can ask her not to do her homework out there? I would sound fucking crazy I Know that. I don’t want to keep food in my room either because when its so close by I have zero impulse control… Speaking of which… she’s finally gone to bed. I’m torn between going to get another slice of pizza for dinner or just going to sleep because it is so late… Ah well, I guess you’ll never know if I ate or not, huh?